


Always

by SalTheMander



Category: Frozen - Fandom, Frozen 2 - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 08:00:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25759993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SalTheMander/pseuds/SalTheMander
Summary: Elsa is stressed over her feelings toward Honeymaren, and does not want the relationship to go south.
Relationships: Elsa & Honeymaren (Disney), Elsa/Honeymaren (Disney)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 39





	Always

**Author's Note:**

> The films never really explored the guilt that Elsa must have felt after striking Anna, or her interaction with the guards, so I did it for them. And of course, Honeymaren is there to support her. Enjoy!

The stew was practically stirring itself. The simmering pot held no interest in Honeymaren’s mind when compared to Elsa’s breathtaking countenance.

She said yes.

The ice queen, one half of the bridge between mankind and the spirits, the ethereal Arendellian. Elsa was all of these things and more, yet she agreed to be Honeymaren’s partner, to share her life with her. Honeymaren, a humble Northuldra warrior.

A smile imposed its will upon her face as Honeymaren absently prepared dinner for herself and for others of her tribe.

It had taken Elsa far too long to pick up on Honeymaren’s hints, nearly to the point of frustration. On the few occasions when she did, she responded with an adorable blush, her words getting caught in her mouth, leaving Honeymaren to fill the uncomfortable silence with some meaningless distraction. Although, in fairness, it had taken Honeymaren nearly as long to figure out why Elsa lost her regal composure so quickly around her in the first place.

_It’s a wonder I was able to tell her at all._

But once she had, the light in Elsa’s eyes had made every moment worth it.

Honeymaren’s reverie nearly allowed the pot to boil over.

With the crisis averted, and the stew finished cooking, she scanned the camp for a sign of Elsa. Unlike the children who rushed to grab a share of their dinner, the elusive ice queen was nowhere to be found. Her brother soon appeared by her side and ladled himself a bowl of stew.

“Ryder,” Honeymaren looked up at him. “Have you seen Elsa?”

He thought for a moment. “I think I saw her head toward the lake, but I’m not too sure.”

Honeymaren thanked him before striding off to determine the validity of his claim.

It wasn’t long before she found the large, flat rock that overlooked the lake, serving as a quite suitable diving point for a would-be swimmer. Gentle footsteps alerted Honeymaren to someone’s presence, and she soon spied Elsa, pacing, hugging herself. Snowflakes glittered in the moonlight around her.

“Elsa?”

The ice queen turned with a start, evidently unprepared for a visitor.

“What are you doing here?” Her voice shook slightly, though she made an attempt to hide it. Elsa remedied her posture, placing her hands delicately in front of her, her back and shoulders rigidly straight.

_Something is wrong._

“I was looking for you,” Honeymaren looked at the woman, trying to catch her eye, but her gaze remained fixed on the ground. “What are you doing out here? Are you hungry?”

Elsa hesitated. “I needed somewhere to… to think. I will join you shortly.”

_Did I do something wrong? Maybe she doesn’t feel the same way that i do, maybe she wasn’t thinking straight when she answered…_

“Do you need anything? I could bring you some stew, if you’d like.” Elsa’s blue eyes flickered up to Honeymaren for a moment. She seemed surprised by her offer.

“Please, go. I’m all right.”

Honeymaren stood frozen to the spot. She should honour Elsa’s boundaries and return to camp. She clearly did not want company, so why invade her privacy by staying?

_But what if she needs me?_

Another moment’s hesitation. Elsa’s hands wrapped around herself again, and she continued to stare blankly at the ground. The rising moon only served to outline her melancholy in his pale, white light.

Honeymaren took a step forward. “What’s wrong, Elsa?”

“That is none of your concern.” The quivering in her voice returned, accompanied by an unexpected harshness. “Please respect my wishes and return to the camp.”

The flurry surrounding her intensified noticeably.

“You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong,” Honeymaren carefully kept her voice level. “But I will not leave you alone out here.” Resolute in her decision, the Northuldra woman sat down, leaning back against a fallen log. Her eyes traced the ice queen, searching for signs that might warrant concern. The increasing snowfall was to be noted. Elsa’s body swayed from side to side, almost undetectably, as though there was a small part of her that was willing to disclose whatever secrets she had locked away.

The uncomfortable silence persisted for an indeterminate amount of time.

_Come on, Elsa. Do something._

At last she did. Without meeting Honeymaren’s eyes, she sat down next to her, keeping her distance. The Northuldra woman shivered at the temperature drop, hoping Elsa wouldn’t notice.

“Are you okay?” Honeymaren asked tentatively, prompting nothing but continued silence from the ice queen. “You know, if we’re going to be together, we’re going to have to open up to one another a little bit.”

Elsa hugged herself tighter, bringing her knees to her chest. Sadness crept into Honeymaren’s gaze.

_How can I be there for you if you shut me out?_

Elsa spoke reluctantly. “I… don’t want to mess things up… y-you and me.” With these hushed words, the reserved, yet commanding woman seemed suddenly so small, looking as though she could fade into the shadows if not watched carefully, and Honeymaren wondered if that was what she wanted to do in this moment.

“You won't mess things up, and if something does go wrong, we can try to find a way to fix it.”

Elsa paused for a long moment. “I don’t want… to hurt you.”

“Elsa… by whatever miracle, you told me that you loved me. How could you ever do anything to hurt me?”

The spirit’s icy blue eyes became cold as she turned to face Honeymaren. “I loved Anna, didn’t I? I hurt her twice! The second time, I thought she had died!”

“You didn’t mean-”

“Oh? Then let’s recall the two guards whom I nearly killed. In my rage, I fully meant to send the ice through that man’s neck, and the fact that the other guard wasn’t pushed off of my balcony was no fault of my own!” Elsa’s face was unrecognizable in her pain, contorted into an angry snarl. The snow around her became a light hail, dancing and bouncing against the stone. Then, all at once, she deflated. Her shoulders slumped, following the path of her eyes, which returned their gaze to the ground. The hail became snow once again. Her body trembled as she hugged herself, becoming smaller than before. “I’m so sorry… I shouldn’t have said that…”

Honeymaren moved to offer a comforting hand, but Elsa recoiled. Her next words were spoken softly.

“Ahtohallan told me that my powers were good. A gift for my mother and father. Yet I still brought harm to others, and to the one person who showed me love. If my powers are not to blame… Then I am.”

Honeymaren remained silent, choosing her next words carefully. Elsa retreated further into herself, her anguished face hardly visible through a thick snow.

“Elsa… Please listen to me as carefully as you can. You are not to blame for any harm that you have done. I only know as much about you as Olaf has explained - _albeit in considerable detail_ \- but I can hardly believe that an eight-year-old girl would intentionally harm her own little sister. And I know how annoying siblings can get.” The joke left no impact on Elsa, unfortunately. “The first time was an accident, you were only trying to have fun. You aren’t to blame for the second time, either. From what I understand, you were going through a lot of stress and fear, and Anna’s heart was unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end.” Elsa remained quiet. “And with the guards, you were being attacked. You were still stressed, afraid, and angry, and you had every right to be. It isn’t your fault that it got out of hand.”

Elsa spoke in a pained whisper. “‘Conceal it, don’t feel it.’ I’m supposed to control my emotions, and my powers. When I don’t, other people pay the price.”

Honeymaren took Elsa’s chin in her hand, turning her so that they locked eyes. “Powers or not, spirit or not, you are still human. Humans have emotions, and for thirteen years, you weren’t allowed to have any. Yes, for you, the consequences can be worse, but I’m sure you’ve learned so much in three years. Elsa… you are allowed to feel things.”

The blue eyes, once cold, now glazed over, tears spilling and tracing a path down her pale cheeks. Honeymaren pulled her close in an unwavering embrace, and Elsa cried softly into her chest.

_I will always be here for you._

_Always._


End file.
